7 Important Things You Wish You Knew Before Adopting a Child

You may read whatever book you like about adoption out there, however, when it comes to the actual adoption process, you can get blindsided by several things that a book or even an internet article could have outlined for you. It's best to get information from real adoptive parents who have the experience if you are curious about what to expect.

Some of you reading this may not be relatively familiar with the process, so we are here to help you out with the things you wish you knew before adopting a child.

You Must Be Financially Prepared

Even if you and your husband are like a spreadsheet who both knows what's coming in and going out, you might not be properly prepared for the financial burden that adoption can bring. Some adoptive parents were given an expense breakdown before the process started. However, the costs became triple to what they were told. So if you're considering adopting, organise your finances and make sure you plan for double to what your agency tells you. Adoption is pretty expensive, but it's worth every penny.

Understand Their Grief and Loss in Adoption

Adoption brings so much happiness and promises for adoptive parents, however, you need to recognize that your child went through a huge loss. You must be very sensitive when it comes to approaching adoption, you need to see it as if it's a tragedy. Understand that someone loved and took care of your child before you, but because of unfortunate circumstances, they were not able to keep him or her. Remember that this event should not lessen your love for your child, but it's a story that makes your child who he or she is, and you need to honour that throughout their life.

Never Keep Your Yearning to Adopt a Secret

Although some families adopt for different reasons and infertility is one of them, don't try to keep it as a secret. This may be a very private and intimate matter, but it's better to not be totally quiet about it. Adoption placements happen through family and friends of friends, which means that the more people who are aware of your interest to adopt, the bigger your chances of being matched with a kid.

A Great Attorney Will Help You

A credible family lawyer is worth the expense. You need to get your own since some adoption agencies have attorneys but they're just responsible for acting for the agency, not definitely for your family. With the help of your attorney's advice, it can help you avoid the process from failing. Lawyers are truly expensive, but the great one who'll be by your side is worth every penny.

Encircle Yourself With People Who Love You

There are people who will not get it and not everyone will agree with your adoption. Not everyone will celebrate your new family in a manner that it deserves. This is why it's important to surround yourself with people who will support you through the process and respect your decision. These people will surely provide you with the similar love that they would shower a pregnant woman.

Some People Will Stare At You (It's Okay!)

There are adoptive parents who are white and their children are African or from another race. If your situation is similar to this, people will sometimes stare. Some stare because of their curiosity and they understand your situation, on the other hand, some would judge you. So before you dread going out in public as a family, just be aware that this can happen. You must learn to brush it off and simply smile back. If you do this, your children will also learn how they can react to these situations in the future. Teach them how to be respectful, forgiving, and positive in all things.

Some Will Tell Your Family Is Not Real

Even if you think you've prepared so much for the adoption, there may come a time that you don't expect to validate and defend your family. You need to be strong since adoption is not for the weak of heart. It's difficult, costly, complicated, intrusive, and doubtful. For some people, they think that your family is not real. You will feel as if you're a shell that breaks down even before anyone has yelled and called you mommy. You will spend so many years defending a child that you've never met. Your bank account will be drained, take leave from work, test your patience and marriage, buy one-way tickets to travel abroad, cry buckets, experience disappointments, and celebrate milestones. But in the end, you know that all sacrifices are worth fighting for and you may consider yourself a warrior.

Remember, the truth is the truth. Even if they ask you where their real parents are, you must accept that they have birth parents and siblings that are real. You are real too. Don't let this question lessen your rightful place on earth as a mother.